Christian Feminism: Believing the Lie

My excuses for not writing this post:

• I really don't have time to do this today.  
• I will surely hurt someone's feelings.
• I will make people angry and this could end up hurting my family. 
• I have a headache.   
• In fact, I wrote this post a week and a half ago and I'm just now putting it up.  I almost chickened out.

But some things are too important to keep quiet about, and in my heart, I know that this is one of those things.  Please hear my heart and learn from my blind and sinful attitude in times past.

I have always been a bit of a dreamer, an idealist, a visionary.  From the time I was a child, I was fed a lie:

"You can do anything you set your mind to do.  You can have it all."

So I took that lie and ran with it.  I was strongly deluded.  I was a Christian feminist with a drive for success - a career woman.  I, of course, did not think I was a Christian feminist, and would have been offended had someone called me one.  But that is what I was.  My heart pursued the vain glory that this world has to offer.  And I thought I was just fine because I had obeyed the gospel and thought I was serving God.  But God did not truly have my heart... my whole heart.  And my dear sisters, I know that I am not the only woman that has been so deluded.  It has taken me years to come around and to find God's path for me again, and as I searched for His truth, I thought to myself, "Why did no one tell me?  Why did no one warn me?"

But there were moments where people DID try to tell me and warn me.  I remember a huge blow up with my parents over paying for college.  They had agreed to pay for half of my schooling, imagining that I would just spend two years at a Christian school.  I was so angry and upset when I realized this because I had great plans for a four year degree and perhaps even beyond, with a career after that.  Oh I had originally planned a degree that could be useful as a stay at home mother, but hearing voices all through college, "You have such talent, you must use it..."  "Don't waste your God-given gifts..."  Those were the voices I was listening to.  I believed I could have it all.  And I had great plans.

Proverbs 16:9 - The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

I remember when I was engaged to my husband and nearly lost him because of my own foolish plans.  I really don't know why he put up with me back then.  I showed all the signs of being a pain-in-the-neck, unsubmissive wife.  (And I was for several years.)  I remember when we had been married a few years and my Granny gently warned me that if I waited too long to have children, things might not work out in the way I was hoping.  But I did not listen to these words of caution.  I was riding a train taking me to places where I thought I would "make a difference", trying to drag the Lord along with me.  And I am thankful that He helped me realize my great sin.  There were moments where it was as though God Himself was gently saying to me, "Is it hard for you to kick against the goads?"

Perhaps you once rode that same train.  Many Christian women do.  Perhaps you still are.  One of these days, like me, you may come to yourself and realize that it is time to jump off because that train is going the way of our mainstream culture, not the way of Christ.   

It will be a a leap.  A BIG leap.

It means more than just staying at home.  It means having your heart in the home and being happy to be there.  It means making a slow investment each and every day in the souls of the people around you and not seeing a return on your investment for many, many years.  It means sacrificing all of yourself, laying down your life to be a servant - a servant of Christ, your husband, and your children.  It means dying to self.  It is not a glamorous life.  But is is a life filled with blessings from the Lord and FREEDOM, (Romans 8:21) the freedom that only comes from being in the center of God's will. 


It would be better if you have the wisdom to never get on that train in the first place.  It would be better to have a vision for God's will for your life all along.  I do hope that you can search the scriptures and find God's way so you can become a LIBERATED woman... liberated in Christ.

Galatians 5:1 - Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. 

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Because this is THE thing... the ONLY thing:

Ecclesiastes 12:13 - The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  

Nothing else matters.


This post is my way-too-long commentary on a series Serena has been running on her blog.  I highly recommend reading it because she just says what is in the scriptures.  
Help Wanted:  Mothers Needed
What Does the Bible Say About Having Kids?
Life Is Short, Discover What Really Matters
So Many Choices, So Little Time
What Does the Bible Say About the Assault on Women?
Does Feminism Really Lead to Freedom?


I also highly recommend Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacey McDonald.  

Linking up with:

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Packing Your Husband's Lunch...

...Some Family Lore



The Four Moms are doing a link-up today on packing a lunch for your husband. I don't pack a lunch for my husband, because Preacher Man works from home. We are blessed to enjoy having him around for breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days! I realize this is definitely not the norm, so if you are looking for REAL tips on how to pack a lunch for your husband, I suggest you read the posts from the other ladies because I saw some fantastic suggestions.

Instead, I'll share some family stories about packing a lunch for the man of the house. These stories go back several generations and provide wonderful amusement at family gatherings, and maybe they will give you a giggle today. These are the stories as I remember them, which may or may not have been embellished upon as they were told and retold over the years. ;)

#1 - I'll begin with an embarrassing story about me and Preacher Man in the early days of our marriage. (Maybe tattling on myself first will assuage the wrath of the still living relatives I'm about to tell on!) See, Preacher Man has not always worked from home, and it used to be my practice to fix him a tasty lunch for work. I usually gave him leftovers. He likes them, and they were very tasty meals, much nicer than the soggy-sandwich routine. After a while I got a request that I not send so many beans please because he was getting rather uncomfortable on the job and was getting teased by his co-workers.

Moral: Take your husband's preferences into account when packing his lunch. (And don't forget the bean-o!)

#2 - A certain sweet new bride was not at all familiar with the concept of "Man Food". Her idea of lunch was saltine crackers spread with cream cheese or a sandwich with a slice of bologna. Brand new husband did not want to hurt his new bride's feelings, so he cheerfully ate his dainty lunches, meanwhile remaining in a state of continual hunger. One day, brand new husband went to the community fridge in the break room and pulled out the familiar brown paper bag. He sat down to eat and inside the bag was a fabulous sandwich - hoagie roll piled high with roast beef and all of the trimmings. "Wowee," he thought, "my sweet new bride must think I'm pretty special! She really went all out today!" And he ate the sandwich with great relish. Just as he was finishing up the crumbs, a co-worker came in and pulled a brown bag from the fridge and sat down to eat. He pulled out a bologna sandwich and said, "HEY! What happened to my sandwich?!"

Moral: Label the brown paper bag when you pack his lunch and remember to pack Man Food and plenty of it!

#3 - One winter's evening, Husband and Wife were playing checkers or dominoes, I can't remember which. Husband made a particularly nasty move, and I have heard the story two ways - either he was cheating or he made it so Wife could not win the game, but in doing so, he could not win either - the cut off your nose to spite your face type of thing. Wife was pretty steamed that Husband would do such a thing. Now husband's job was hard, physical, out-of-doors labor, so in winter Wife packed him a thermos full of soup. When Husband took out his thermos the next day to eat his lunch, there was nothing inside but a tack.

Moral: Don't be tacky with your wife. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

(Above story is meant to be funny, and does not represent Church Mouse's opinion on how to handle a cheating husband... at least when it comes to dominoes.)

Want some ideas for Man Lunches? Hungry Mama Food makes pretty good Hungry Man Food too! Preacher Man especially loves Meatball or Meatloaf Sandwiches!