It is so, so, so hard to gain much spiritually while almost the entirety of worship services are spent training little ones. Up, down, up, down. Changing a diaper, taking the toddler to the potty (even though we went right before worship began), feeding the baby, picking up books the baby dropped, disciplining the toddler for dropping books because he knows better, disciplining the toddler for throwing a fit about the discipline received for dropping books, trying to keep the baby from turning around and making faces at everyone behind us, picking up more things the baby dropped, toddler will you PLEASE face front and stop biting your nails, and baby will you PLEASE stop squirming so much in my lap... oh, you need ANOTHER diaper change, that would explain it! Here we go again... up, down, up, down...
I know that I'm not the only one.
Still... it is draining. I'm feeling as dry as a dessert spiritually lately, which is part of the reason for this blog. Writing out a hymn, bit of scripture, or even just providing a bit of commentary on life helps me sort out my priorities. As morning services were ending today, I thought to myself, "God, be merciful on us mothers..." I feel like I've been coasting for too long, depending upon the years of study and devotion I was able to spend before I had children. Coasting just doesn't cut it though. Praying for manna and deep droughts of water to refresh my soul. I find it here and there. I'm living on those moments, and praying for mercy.
Psalm 32:1-2 - "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." (ESV)
Luke 11:9-10 - "And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (ESV)